Davy takes DC to the Ultimate Alternate Oneshot!
by iAnna-n-Gypsy
Summary: A special deleted scene from iAnna epi.3...coming soon once YOU REVIEW! Davy takes the Dutchman Crew to the movies...Then he and Jimmylegs get the ride of their lives, right after Davy was torn away from his love of dougnuts-Slight romance, micro flirting


Okay, this is just kind of a deleted scene of the upcoming iAnna episode which we thought was kind of important. _Basically, _we have explain this to you now because we were givin you warnings where the actual summary should go and WE STILL AREN'T DONE WITH THE WARNINGS so let's start with that! As we probably mentioned, due to some unadulterated scenes, and language, we advise anyone under the age of 15 to click that li'l' green button at the corner of your screen with the arrow and find another story!! Just WAIT for the next iAnna episode because that'll be much cleaner and more suitable for your clean, perfect, almost-perverted minds!

YOU PPL ARE THE FUTURE OF AMERICA...or whatever country you're in!

And for those of you who are older than 15, read on and Thank-you for choosing iAnna Deleted Scene ONE! And yes, since we said one there are going to be more deleted scenes.

Sincerely, Anamaria and Gypsy

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Obviously, this revolves around the Dutchman Crew...Since a lot of people don't even have the slightest idea who is who or what they even look like!-Here's a link to a Wiki page with all of them on it! pirates.wikia.c om/wiki/GalleryofFlyingDutchmancrewimages

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(Maccus and Palifico forcefully dragging Davy to Showboat.)

Okay, let's paint a picture! Maccus and Palifico are pulling Davy with linked arms to the big doors. Davy is attempting to run in the opposite direction; tentacle beard covered in powdered sugar. Beard clinging to last glazed doughnut for dear life.

Maccus: Captain! Let it go! There'll be more sales!

Davy: NO! I paid for the 1,472nd doughnut, I DESERVE THE FREE ONE! (turns to Palifico) Palifico! You're my body guard! Help me out here!

Palifico: I'm protecting you from the calories!

Davy: (hides panting) I've burned them!

Palifico: Well, I'm protecting you from your fat pants! Remember _last_ Thanksgiving?

(goes to flashback)

…

Anna and Gypsy: NO! No! No! No! No! No! We do NOT NEED THAT!

Anna: Our readers do not want to see that! They don't want nightmares!

Random Davy Hater: Yeah we do!

Gypsy: Heh, heh… (turns around and chucks brick at Hater's head) Take that!

(R.D.H. collapses to ground; eyes roll in back of head)

Anna: Oh my gosh! … He dead? I'm too tired to plan a funeral.

Gypsy: (lifts Hater's head) It's okay! The drain is sucking up the blood!

Anna: I- Is that good?

Gypsy: Yes! It means the po-po have no proof it was us!

Anna: A- And that's good?

Gypsy: Yes!

(Back to D.C)

Davy: WHERE'S THE REST OF THE CREW?!

Maccus: Already-at-the-movie-theater-and-Norry-and-Beckett-are-doing-_God-knows-what_-in-a-Claire's-dressing-room-and-Bootstrap-and-Tia-are-in-the-bus-and-Elizabeth-and-Bella-and-Jack-are-at-Culver's-and-Ana's-in-a-potato-growing-contest-and-we lost-Gypsy-and-Will-a-while-ago-oh-and-Teague-and-Laura-are-dress-shopping! (gasps then turns back to the struggling Davy) And Hadras has his head stuck in a soda fountain! SO GET YOUR ASS IN THERE, _CAP'N_. (He hisses the last word of that sentence) YOU LAZY S.O.B!!

(Davy stops struggling and he and Palifico stare at Maccus in shock)

Davy: uhhh. (does incoherent mumblings as he is subconsciously walking towards the movie theater, guided by the two morons)

Palifico: Wow.

((After D.C. is a tad more normal and settles and Hadras has his stupid sticky head back, they're all in the concession stand line))

Koleniko: Fine! I _won't_ get the large soda if it's been _'infested with barnacles!' _(Half the crew turns to Hadras with death glares)

Hadras: (looks around; whispers) Hey! You guys_ put_ me in there!

Davy: (is walking over to Maccus and a fangirl named Nicole (xxxSupernatural.loveXXX); Maccus is spacing out) Is he still mad?

Nicole: Nah. He just bottled up so much anger and hatred that he just blew! Now look! (waves hand in front of Maccus's drooling mouth and his giant head) You see, Davy. It's like the space shuttle. He explodes off, and now, he's in orbit… just be sure you're not around for the 'Return Trip'.

Davy: Oh, okay. (turns away)

Nicole: AND YOU'RE THE ONE WHO CAUSED IT!!

Davy: (spins around) Wha? (Nicole starts beating Davy with her purse which is oddly filled with stones, seashells, broken glass, and gasoline)

Davy: OW! CUT IT OUT, YOU NUTTER!! (looks at his pipe.) Uh oh….

((BOOM!! Davy exploded. Leaving the fangirl to happily skip back to her space-cadet love.))

Koleniko: Uh, is the Mountain Dew still any good?

Worker: No! Everything is poisoned thanks to your friend!

Koleniko: (straightens up) Okay! Listen here! I've been called _a lot_ of things in my life but NEVER have I ever heard anything so ridiculous as being called HADRAS'S FRIEND!

Worker: Okay, sir! Just-just tell me how many tickets you want!

Koleniko: We need 22 adult tickets and… (glances over at Davy very quickly)… uhh… do you have anything that is _older _than Senior? Like… maybe… (whispers) Señor _Grande?_

Davy: I HEARD THAT! (still crawling on ground with burnt skin, limp tentacles, and part of his coat on fire) And if I wasn't in so much pain right now I'd really hurt you!! But… OW!! (Maccus kicks Davy in the neck)

Penrod: ( turns to Maccus and the nearly unconscious Davy) Maccus, you know he's going to kill you for everything… right?

Maccus: (looks down sadly) Yeah… (Perks up) BUT IT WAS WORTH IT!!

Davy: (tries to stand up) That's it…I'm outta here! (Falls back down on back at Maccus's feet; hisses) I'm…going to kiiiiiiiiiiiiill you.

Maccus: (grins sheepishly) I know…

Koleniko: (waves all 23 tickets in the air) CAPTAIN!! COME GET YOUR OLD AS DIRT TICKET!!

Piper: (gives Davy crutches so he can walk) Might want these...

Davy: (limps over to Koleniko, gets his ticket, hits Niko in the head, then gathers the crew around him) Okay, everyone. Listen. Carefully. We are going into a very, very, VERY dark theater where nobody except your captain CARES WHAT YOU DO!! And what I care about is you killing each other!!-- (forces a smile) I know you love one another!!-- or you guys turn gay. I know how you guys get without seeing women for a long long, long, lo-o-o-o-ong time! And I know it isn't pretty! And your captain is having a bad day… (glares at Maccus) So PLEASE for the love that is all is good and pure in my forsaken universe, KEEP IT IN YOUR FREAKING PANTS, PLEASE!!

((Nobody was even aware of Davy. Jimmylegs is whipping Maccus for no freaking reason, half the crew was trying to kill one another already, and maybe about five of them (Morey, Ogilvey, Penrod, Koleniko, Wheelback) were kicking Hadras's head like a soccer ball where they "accidentally" kick it back into the soda fountain.))

Maccus: Ow! Ow! Jimmy! Jimmy! JIM-MY. (Jimmylegs immediately stops) Okay, just stop. Leave me the HELL alone! I need to talk to Palifico for a minute, okay?

Jimmy: (pouts) But who am I gonna whip?

Maccus: Captain! (Jimmy looks down, confused and pondering; Maccus places hand on shoulder) Enjoy every minute of it, Jim-Jim.

Jimmy: (solemnly) Okay. (Walks off in Davy's direction.)

Davy: All right crew! Start pouring into the theater! Movie's starting and-OW! JIMMY! JIMMY! I COMMAND YOU TO- OW!

((Little pieces of burnt go flying everywhere. Basically, Davy is running for safety towards the theater; Jimmy still follows and whips.))

Palifico: (is following the crew, Davy, and Jimmy; He's stopped by Maccus) What?

Maccus: Palifico, buddy. I've got an idea. (smiles and gives sinister glare towards the yelping Davy) Spread the word to Hadras, too.

((In the theater, it is dark. 'nough said; Maccus and Palifico are sitting next to each other with Koleniko, Davy and Hadras sitting right behind them, Ogilvey, Penrod, Morey are in front. The rest are spread out since they have no plot.))

Maccus: (looks at Palifico; whispers) You know w- what to do? (Palifico nods and whispers the plan back to Maccus, who shudders.) Why are we doing this?

Palifico: It was your idea, dunce! And I think it has to do with (points up) him.

Maccus: All right. (looks up at screen trying to relax)

Screen Quotes: Did you know? That banging your head against a wall burns 100 calories an hour. NOW YOU KNOW!!

Maccus: (feels thumping sensation on back; turns around to Hadras banging his detached head on the seat) Hadras! What the hell are you doing!

Hadras: Burning 100 calories an hooooooooooooour!

((It's the middle of the movie; Maccus turns to Palifico and nods; His stomach starts churning))

Hadras: (turns to Davy) Caaaaptaaain!! (signals to Palifico and Maccus) Look!!

(Palifico pounces on top of Maccus; Davy tries to jump up but is stopped because his butt is stuck in the seat. He goes wide eyed.)

Jimmy: (wide eyed and staring disturbed; neck strains forward suddenly and starts shaking. In sing-song chant) Scootin' away! Scootin' away! Scootin' away! (does so in between each chant; Looks up. He ended up next to a very, very, very, very big man; Eyes grow big again.) Scootin' back! Scootin' back! Scootin' back! Scootin' back! (Continues; trips over a big lump) What the-? (looks down to Maccus and Palifico) HOLY CRAP!

Author's Note:

Okay, two things here. One, Jimmy doesn't give a crap about the emotions of other people in the audience. And number two is the reason for number 1. Okay, with Maccus and Palifico… I know I've said this A MILLION FREAKING TIMES, but this is the one time I REALLY mean it.. Just use the perverted imagination I know all of you have… somewhere.

Maccus: (quickly clamps hand over Jimmy's mouth and pulls him down; freaking out Davy even more; hisses) Shut. Up and STAY down.

Davy: (mumbles calmly and quietly) Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. I could've seen this coming. First my personal guard, then my first mate? And _now_ my bo'sun.

**You guys came on a good day! Today, we're giving an exclusive tour to the center of Davy's brain right now…**

Davy's thoughts: Simple: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!

Jimmy: (eyes widen; double-takes between Davy and the two scary crewmates; whispers) You guys are nuts!! I'm outta here! (stands up and flips down to next row with Morey, Ogilvey, and Penrod. Somehow ends up in the middle of the three with the popcorn in his lap. All other three have there hands in the popcorn bucket at the same time.)

There's only one _little_ problem…Their bucket was empty.

Jimmy: (looks up) Why? Why do you hate me? Was it because I made _one_ wrong choice? Why don't you torture my captain? Why me? Is it because I whip people!? (looks at his beloved whip; chokes back tears) Are you ruining my life? Or are you the only thing keeping me from becoming one of Beckett's followers? (gets tad angry) I _knew_ we shouldn't have let him onto the Dutchman! He spread his sick disease to my friends!! (Looks up. The trio is still there staring at him; Suddenly feels sharp thud in his back; Instinctually turns around.) WOULD YOU MIND- (eyes widen, springs back) Sorry…(shuffles feet on floor) Damn, why is the floor so sticky and lumpy??

Wheelback: (spins around from seat in front) I just crapped!

Jimmy: Are you _sure _it's not the product of the ANNOYING thudding in my BACK AND-

(Morey, Ogilvey, and Penrod turn around and look at Maccus and Palifico. Jimmy doesn't dare. All three sigh.)

The trio: Awww, look at the happy couple!! (Morey suddenly snaps back to Wheelback after seeing something he probably shouldn't have.)

Morey: Seriously, Wheelback. Are you _sure??_

Wheelback: Yeah. I crapped. Why are you so convinced that I'm lying!? (turns around, suddenly turns back to movie with and odd facial expression; Hoarse tone) Maybe that _wasn't _completely all me…

Jimmy: That's it! I'm getting alcohol and drinking until I can't remember jack shit!! (stands up and walks out of the theater. And by walks, we mean sprints)

((Once out of the theater, Jimmy heads straight up to the bar on the upper level. He is convinced to never go back to the Dutchman. Unfortunately, he runs into Beckett looking for Norry.))

Beckett: Jimmylegs? Have you seen Norry? I can't find him anywhere and I have a gift for him.

Jimmy: Uh, no. Sorry Beckett. I've been a tad busy with my _own_ disgusting sexual problems! Wait… (hectic tone) did I leave… (looks all over) WHIP IN THE THEATER? (whimpers; bites on nails) Neaaaah…

Beckett: (shrugs shoulders) Eh, I was looking for Norry, but you'll do! (tries grabbing Jimmy's arm)

Jimmy: No! No! Not happening you li'l' turd!

Beckett: (pouts) But I'm Cutler Beckett! I'm a Lord! I _always_ get what I want!

Jimmy: Oh yeah! If you always get what you want then NORRY'S IN TC SPORTS HUGGING BOOTSTRAP! (points out Showboat window; does some double-takes) Hold on, even people _outside_ of the crew are gay?? (falls on knees) There's no end to this nightma-a-a-a-are!

Beckett: Aw…Thanks Jimmy!! (runs to TC Sports where Bootstrap, Will, and Norry are engaged in a group-hug)

Jimmy: (back-trains thought to theater) Wait, Beckett? (Beckett turns around; Jimmy points behind him) Inside theater 2 there's…(thinks of the variables of his actions) Never mind…Stick with Norry.

Beckett: (suddenly gets demonic glare in eye; He was looking out the window) Bootstrap will die and James is SO GROUNDED!

Jimmy: (shifts eyes and grabs soda) I'm getting out of here before he realizes my name…

((We pick up where iAnna left off))

Bootstrap: (looks down at his son and friend hugging him. Looks at Norry) I don't remember having you.

Norry: (looks up with puppy dog face) My daddy doesn't love me and I haven't seen him at all in the past four years…

Bootstrap: Aw, come here then! (embraces the two boys)

((Beckett comes storming in, wig slightly dismantled))

Beckett: JAMES CATHEDRAL NORRINGTON! Where have you been? I've been searching for you for HOURS and you didn't even bother to call? Did you want me to die of WORRY?

Norry: (Will is chuckling, Norry shoots him a death glare) That would be a plus sign!

Beckett: You are grounded, mister!

Norry: (innocently) Wha-a-at? I'm telling Anna!!

Beckett: Why don't you choose Gypsy?

Norry: Geeze, I wonder…

(Goes to flashback…when they were seven…)

Norry: (holding back tears) Gypsy!! My pet hamster got out and daddy's mowing the lawn!…Then there's red fuzz on my window…(starts to cry; buries face in hands)

Gypsy: (looks up from book; smacks him…hard. "THWACK!") Why you crying!

(Fades back to when they were three)

Norry: (runs up to Gypsy sobbing) Gypsy!…I just-just wet the be-bed and Daddy hit me wit da-da meat sti-i-ick!

Gypsy: (slaps across face repeatedly. "THUD! THWACK! THWACK!") Why you crying!

(Fades back to when they were two-years old and just learning how to talk)

Norry: (wobbles up to his mom) Mommy? Cousin Gyp-Gyp just 'tole my di'per and hit me wit' it.

Gyp-Gyp: (runs up and 'thuds' back of head) Why you crying?!

((End of flashback))

Norry: (shudders clutching tightly to Bootstrap) She was even a little demon then…(Gypsy appears from behind out of nowhere)

Gypsy: _What_ did you say?

Norry: (turns around sharply) Nothing-cousin-Gyp-Gyp! (Anamaria appears out of nowhere)

Anamaria: (chuckling) Cousin _Gyp-Gyp?_

Gypsy: (gives Anamaria a death glare; walks over to Norry then thuds on head) WHY YOU CRYING!

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Okay, now please press that lavender button and send us a nice review! Constructive critisism allowed, but no flames...Like we have done a million times...WE WARNED YOU!! Don't act like it's our fault when you shouldn't have read it!!

BTW: For more comedy genius from us, ALERT TO IANNA-N-GYPSY and REVIIIIIIIIIIIEW to the freaking story!!


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